Thursday, February 16, 2017

Questions America Wants Answered: "Has the Large Hadron Collider Disproved the Existence of Ghosts?" (CERN)

Before we get into the headline story, a little mood music:

nerd, yo
From RealClearScience:
The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) might be the world's most incredible science experiment. A particle collider seventeen miles in circumference, it accelerates protons to velocities approaching the speed of light and slams them together. Enthralled scientists from all over the world watch the subatomic demolition derby and record what happens. Thus far, they've witnessed the creation of quark-gluon plasma (the densest matter outside of black holes), found key evidence against supersymmetry, and discovered the Higgs boson, a result which garnered the Nobel Prize in Physics.

Much of the general public probably isn't aware of these fascinating, yet unfortunately, esoteric discoveries at the LHC. Particle physics simply doesn't inspire as much interest as say, ghosts. At least four in ten Americans believe in ghosts, and it's likely that even fewer people are aware of the LHC. On that note, at least one physicist contends that the LHC has, in fact, disproved the existence of ghosts.

The physicist in question is Brian Cox, an Advanced Fellow of particle physics at the University of Manchester and a popular science communicator in Britain. On a recent broadcast of BBC Radio Four's The Infinite Monkey Cage centered around science and the paranormal, Cox had this to say on the topic:

"Before we ask the first question, I want to make a statement: We are not here to debate the existence of ghosts because they don't exist."
He continued:
"If we want some sort of pattern that carries information about our living cells to persist then we must specify precisely what medium carries that pattern and how it interacts with the matter particles out of which our bodies are made. We must, in other words, invent an extension to the Standard Model of Particle Physics that has escaped detection at the Large Hadron Collider. That's almost inconceivable at the energy scales typical of the particle interactions in our bodies."
Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, who was also on the show, pressed Cox to clarify his statement.

"If I understand what you just declared, you just asserted that CERN, the European Center for Nuclear Research, disproved the existence of ghosts."

"Yes," Cox replied....

Previously on the LHC Channel:
February 2012
CERN: Light Once Again Faster then Neutrinos, Problem May Have Been a Loose Cable
Don't you hate it when that happens? A bad connection and all of a sudden you're calling Einstein a moron.
From CERN:...
March 2015
"Scientists at Large Hadron Collider hope to make contact with PARALLEL UNIVERSE in days" (time to dust off the 'end of the universe' puts)
In comparison I don't feel I've gotten a lot done today..... 
Oct. 2015
CERN Cranks LHC To 11 In Bid To Find Parallel Universes
December 2015 
After Turning Large Hadron Collider Up To 11, CERN May Have found A New Particle, End of the World Puts Trade Sideways

Regarding the puts, we have attempted to quote their action (reaction) with each CERN announcement since the machine was turned on back in 2008:

Should CERN have to really crank up the Large Hadron Collider we will make every effort to offer Long or Short Capital's proprietary "End of the Universe Puts":

Back when the LHC was supposed to fire up the first time, we mentioned Long or Short Capital's End of the Universe puts:
...That is why Long or Short is now offering LHC End of the Universe Puts. It’s a simple put option wherein the buyer retains the right to sell the Universe at a strike price of “Existing”. Based on our Black-Holes model used to value all “end of the world” options, the July 2008 vintage options are currently priced at $20....
Followed by "Large Hadron Collider Starts Up, Earth Suvives, End of the World Puts Plummet":
UPDATE: The marketers at LoS Capital* are still pushing product:
...We continue to reiterate the importance of LHC End of the Universe Puts.
“The LHC is a discovery machine,” said CERN Director General Robert Aymar
If this is true and you extrapolate it out, it is only a matter of time until they discover the end of the Earth and existence as we know it. Who is to say they won’t do that tomorrow? Again, not us. 
Recommendation: These securities do NOT benefit from the implicit guarantee of the US government, God or your locally relevant deity. Wink wink nudge nudge, but between you and me, they DO.
*At Long or Short LLC, we leverage our superior intellect and extensive investing experience to recommend explicit Long or Short positions and related abstract trades, which may or may not be possible with real world financial derivatives. We use science to improve the lives of the rich.
More About LoS
From -Baguette breaks Large Hadron Collider (End of the Universe Puts Trade Down)

And many, many more.